Managing Jealousy When a New Sibling Arrives
The arrival of a new brother or sister is an event that can stir mixed emotions in the older child. On one hand, they may feel curiosity, excitement, and affection for the new family member, but on the other hand, they may experience jealousy, insecurity, and frustration due to having to share their parents’ attention and affection.
Jealousy is an emotional manifestation that results in completely normal and expected behaviors in young children when a sibling arrives. Just put yourself in the shoes of the child who has been the sole recipient of their parents’ affection and attention until that moment.
However, jealousy doesn’t have to be a problem if it is managed properly and the child is helped to adapt to the new situation. Parents can do a lot to prevent and reduce the jealousy of their older child and promote a good relationship between siblings.
How to prevent jealousy before the baby’s birth?
Parents can start preparing the child for the baby’s arrival during pregnancy by following some guidelines, such as:
• Talking to the child about the baby naturally and affectionately, explaining how the baby is growing inside mommy’s belly and what things they will be able to do with the baby when it is born.
• Involving the child in the baby’s preparations, such as choosing their clothes, crib, or name, making them feel like an important part of the process.
• Maintaining the child’s routines and habits as much as possible, including their schedules, activities, and moments of play with the parents.
• Reinforcing their self-esteem and security by reminding them how much they are loved and how special they are to their parents.
• Anticipating the changes that will occur when the baby is born, such as the child having to go to the hospital for a few days, the baby crying and sleeping a lot, or mommy having to breastfeed the baby.
• Seeking support from family or friends to take care of the child when the baby is born to prevent them from feeling lonely or abandoned.
How to reduce jealousy after the baby’s birth?
Once the baby is home, parents can follow some recommendations to minimize the jealousy of the older child and facilitate their adaptation to the new family reality:
• Giving the older child a leading role in the arrival of the new sibling, as a protector, teacher, and caregiver. Parents can assign them simple tasks, without overwhelming them with responsibility, and respect their availability to participate in the care of the newborn.
• Dedicate quality time to the older child, taking advantage of moments when the baby is sleeping or with someone else. Parents can engage in activities that the child enjoys, such as reading them a story, playing with them, or going to the park.
• Avoid comparing the siblings, both in positive and negative ways. Each child is unique and has their own pace of development. Parents should value the qualities and achievements of each child without making them compete with each other.
• Show understanding and empathy towards the emotions of the older child, without repressing or punishing them for feeling jealous. Parents should listen to them, validate their feelings, and help them express themselves through words or drawings.
• Without the need for punishment, express disapproval of displays of jealousy or rivalry towards their sibling. Parents should set clear and firm boundaries for aggressive or defiant behaviors by the older child towards the baby or towards themselves.
• Foster harmonious coexistence between the siblings by encouraging physical contact, affection, and cooperation between them. Parents should praise the older child’s positive attitudes towards the baby and create moments of shared fun.
Conclusion
The arrival of a new brother or sister is an opportunity for the older child to grow emotionally and learn values such as love, generosity, and solidarity. Parents can accompany them in this process with patience, understanding, and affection, while still attending to their needs and keeping in mind that jealousy is a normal and temporary reaction.
